Wow. I randomly decided to update my blog and I ended up giving it a major makeover. Then I went to see when my 1st (and only) blog had been published. Apparently it was 3 December 2011. Well, it's safe to say I've been majorly slacking. I only made that blog so that I could do some fundraising and spread the word about where the heck I would be for the next year. Now I've decided to give it a deeper purpose. (check out the blog description up top) So that's what I'ma do. I just want to thank you all who have so faithfully supported my year on NET. You're amazing!!! Sorry that I never updated this thing. I'm going to post more often than once a year from now on. I promise! (I'm saying that so that I can be held accountable)
I've definitely changed a lot in the past year. I'm listening to Hillsong :) and "Came to My Rescue" is on. That's exactly it. Jesus has in every way come to my rescue. Through my adventures on NET this year, I was confronted with the truth that: The way I love God is the way I love others. And the way I love others is the way I love God. This year praise God I was able to step back and see how afraid I've been. Afraid of relationship. Of knowing others, of letting them really know me, the real me. Afraid of God knowing and being involved in things about me I'd rather not admit to anyone. And I've been very afraid of knowing Him for who He really is.
(drawn by an 8-year-old: http://akiane.com/home)
It's also been a bit scary coming to know myself more as well. But it's so good!!! I knew in my head but never really understood in my heart that in order to love others and to give, we have to have something to give. If I don't love myself and see myself through my Father's eyes, how can I see others that way and love them? We love because He first loved us (1 Jn 4:19)! I've built up a good security system around myself over the past 24 years. I didn't trust God to get through whatever inside me was acting like my heart's personal secret service. But He definitely wants in. He's just not going to force His way in. Open up those doors inside of you that you'd rather not let Him into. Give them over, surrender!! Let Him come to your rescue. You'll never be the same. You'll be living in freedom!
This year has been one where I've sought to know who Jesus is through personal relationships with the people I've met, my brothers and sisters on and off NET. I think it took being on the other side of the world for me to start seeing the value of relationship.
It's invaluable.
It's worth the effort. Jesus is worth it all. When He promises life and life to the full (John 10:10) He delivers. IN ABUNDANCE!!!
A little example of how He delivers: This year I was in Melbourne. It gets COLD there (well, compared to Brisbane). "Four seasons in one day," they say. Well one day I thought, I kinda wish I had a scarf....Nah, I'm on a year of mission, I can do without. Lo and behold, at the next Sunday Mass I went to across the street (at the beautiful St. John the Baptist's Church in Clifton Hill) I met a beautiful old lady named Heidi. After Mass she put her scarf around my neck from behind me. It was beautiful, black and white, and really really warm.
So, He might be big and scary. But He's also gentle as a lamb. And definitely as gentle and loving as little old ladies.
I want to know you more, Lord Jesus!
And I give you permission to know me and love me as I am.
"Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have your way, Lord have your way in me!
Like a mighty storm
stir within my soul
Lord have your way, Lord have your way in me!
...I surrender, I surrender
I want to know you more!!!"
("I Surrender" Hillsong)
yaye christine!!!! way to blog! SO Happy I got to see you for 5 hours this past 19 months and can't wait for the next five hours! lots of love, kelly
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